oh my god we are just being fabulous

All it takes to be fabulous is a clear head, a little red dress, a smile and confidence.

My and my friend drow down to the coast today. We had such a laugh. I always laugh when I am with her, cause she is hilarious.
H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S
F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S
That pretty much describes my day!
Its funny what putting down that drink can do to ya. Clearing a bit of the past and having some faith is my ingredients to living the amazing life I wanna live.
Although, I am still the person I always have been, but I have kind of left the bad bits out..or working on it every day I'd say. Fucking hard work trying not to give in to old behaviour. But I am getting used to it. I am still greatly selfobsessed, as you will notice in this blogg. Haha. Selfobsession can be great though. Its all about ME ME ME!!! Oh, enough of me. What do you think of ME?? Haha . Only the underworld will understand this inside joke. Did you know London's gotta a underworld? Its pretty cool out there. And extremely rebellious. WE ROCK!!

what i was and what i want to be

Some days, I struggle a hell of a lot to express myself, as I like, in Swedish. I don't know why that is, I guess my brain is just more set in to the english language some days, depending on whom I have spent the day with, what I have done, and what I wish to say. So here I am, today, thinking in English..so, I am not gonna waste energy on trying to write in Swedish. But God yes I do feel quite embarresed that my swedish is on the same level as a 10 year old's. Nothing I am proud of, I have got to work on it. Need to read more swedish books. Shame ,shame, shame. I don't want it to be this way. I used to be quite creative with the swedish language before. As I said, it is sad. I will work on it.

This was not what I wanted to write about. I wanted to write about being able to become someone you never thought you would. Or wanted. Not very long time ago at all, I used to be a moaner. A girl full of self pity, who just went on, and on, and on about all the worries, anxiety and shit in my head. I was extremely unsatisfied and ungrateful. I did nothing but stumble.
Today, I am full of energy. Am working on listening to my heart and something greater than me in order to do the right thing. I am no longer cursed by my thoughts. I am no longer a moaner. I no longer fuck things up.
Instead, I am more productive than ever and do a lot of stuff. I am aiming for my dreams and am in the process of making them happen. I am running. I am a goood employee and a better friend than before, mainly cause instead of vomiting all my self-induced worries on everyone, I can actually listen and be of good company. I dance until early hours in the morning, with a Red Bull in my hand. I take care of myself. I am a good daughter, and next week I am taking my parents out to a top notch reastaurant cause I want to give something back to them. And this is just a very beginning. What I want to become is a lot more, but I have just started to learn, and to understand - that you can be whoever you want to be. And do I want to be a wanker? HELL NO!! I am aiming high ladies and gentlemen. Cause I've got faith that I can.

Det kanns som att allting har en mening

Forst ska jag ta och be om ursakt for min daliga svenska. Forut brukade jag blogga pa engelska, mest for jag skams for min superkassa svenska, men aven for att vid tillfallen som idag nar jag skriver fran jobbet sa saknar jag mitt svenska tangentbord.

Tidigare i formiddags nar jag promenerade forbi mitt gamla universitet sa slog det mig igen, att allt har en mening. Det finns vissa manniskor som har haft en roll att spela i mitt liv. Dessa personer har jag ingen kontakt med idag, och det ar nagot som jag har valt mest pa grund av den destruktionen vi matade varandra med. Samtidigt kan jag med hela mitt hjarta saga att jag ar oerhort glad att jag har traffat dessa manniskor, och att dem en gang var i mitt liv. Dessa moten med vissa manniskor har fort mig till platser dar jag har paborjat en resa till att hitta hem. En resa att hitta mig sjalv igen. Aven om jag tappade bort mig sjalv manga ganger pa vagen, gick in i fel grottor, ramlade ner i nagra fallgropar och fick en och annan torn...sa kanns det som allt har haft en mening..
Nasta torsdag ar jag inbjuden till nagot otroligt spannande. Ocksa det skulle aldrig ha hant om jag inte hade gjort mig illa pa min resa, den drommen som jag nu har fatt en chans till att uppfylla skulle inte ens ha existerat om det inte hade varit for...

Om att kunna se igen

Jaha, da har man en blogg igen. Jag ar haft ett antal bloggar som har blivit bortglomda eller negligerade pa grund av olika orsaker, sa nu gor vi ett till forsok.
Ar 2007 och 2008 har nog varit den mest larorika tiden i mitt liv. Allt har forandrats. Men samtidigt, sa ar allt som vanligt. Forvirrande kan man tycka om man inte forstar vad jag menar med detta, men nar jag sager att ALLT har forandrats sa menar jag det. Forandringar som inte syns pa papper stannar kvar hos oss mycket langre (forhoppningsvis) an de som star pa papper. Darfor kommer nog den har bloggen handla valdigt mycket om just det, om hur det ar att vakna upp fran en 25-arig lang dimma och borja leva det livet jag alltid haft en onskan om att leva. Om allt jag lar mig pa vagen.