water-town

I spent the day in Stockholm. The capital of Sweden. And i have got something to admit.
I actually liked it. To such and extent that there is a slight possibility for relocating somehow, some day. I am not making a statement. I am not planning. I am not thinking about moving. I am only saying, that it could be a place to live. If I'd ever feel that England got too complicated. Stockholm might be something to consider. I think, I could be happy there.
I love visiting new places, it makes me think. And I like to be openminded about things, I never want to come to any conclusions (well to a certain extent of course). And I'd like, to never say never.
But for some reason, the thought of moving back to Sweden scares the hell out of me. But I think, that it is not the country that frightens me, it's rather the settling-down thing that fucking freaks me out. You know, mr and mrs Smith in suburbia...Svensson-liv in Swedish. I hate the idea of living such a life. I think it would make me go bonkers, completely utterly mad. And that life, seems much more inevitable in Sweden.
I might be wrong.
And, I am not planning to move from England. I am happily stuck there, for at least another 3 years as I am starting my masters in September at university. And, I can actually see myself buying a flat in Islington, and maybe, if I get fed up with the big city move out to the English country side.
However. No need to plan for the next 10 years. Living in the moment is hard sometimes. I just want to achieve, I guess. There is always new stuff to do. First, I just wanted to let my hair down. Well it went a bit out of control. Then, I wanted to feel happy again, sort my life out. You know, live a decent life. Then, I wanted to go back to university. Well hell yeah I am. And I got in to do a bloody master in psychology which I never thought I would, its quite competative. Well, I wanted to run. So I did. (and by the way, i know, its ridiculous how i keep going on about my running business but if you knew what my life looked like a year ago you would be impressed too). There is so much that has happened the last year, so when I think about it, start going through it, it feels fucking amazing. Just the psyching change from being a complete misery to actually being happy. Just the joy of being alive in the 21st century. The awakening of my spirit, I guess. The understanding of the self, and of the world. The new perspective. The ambition to do something with my life. The anxiety disappearing. The discovery of lifesaving tools. The new understanding of my own potential. The faith in something. The new found fucking amazing friends.
God there is so much I want to do. I wanna be really fucking creative and active this coming autumn. I wanna take up singing again. I wanna run, even more. I want to become a bloody good cyclist. I want to dance till the early morning. I am going to study really bloody hard. I want to be the best I can be. Not to impress anyone, but myself. I can't sit still, so why should I?